


The Things You Learn About Humans

by peternurphy



Category: Kingkiller Chronicles - Patrick Rothfuss
Genre: Gen, Homophobia, implied one sided bast/chronicler
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-31
Updated: 2017-07-31
Packaged: 2018-12-09 09:49:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 632
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11666679
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/peternurphy/pseuds/peternurphy
Summary: Bast tells Chronicler a story about a mistake he made in his early interactions with humans.





	The Things You Learn About Humans

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this in like 10 minutes off of an offhand thought; it's short but I'm liking the concept.

“From what I know of the Fae, I’m surprised it’s only village _girls_ you talk about.”

It’s not hard to discern the underlying statement in Chronicler’s tone. Or the statement below that. As much as Bast has no authority to judge humans for sexual and romantic proclivities, he can’t say he was expecting interest in himself. “You, of all people, should know how upset humans can get at the _wrong kind_ of propositioning.”

“Fair enough.”

Chronicler looks down at his stew; Bast leans toward him. It would be unfair to bring the man to his bedroom, he thinks. What with the extortion. At the very least, he can give him a story. “I didn’t know about that when I first came to Newarre,” he starts, tilting his head to indicate that Chronicler should look at him. Look into his eyes.

“Oh?”

He’s not writing; that’s good. “There was a man named Abner who used to work at the orchard up the road. Tall, muscular, _massive_ hands. He kept his hair in pigtails all the time, it was kind of cute. I used to sit and steal apples and watch him work. But one day he noticed me, and he really let me have it for taking the fruit. The thing was, he had this gorgeous tenor voice and soft-looking lips, and I just got distracted.”

“So I kept coming back, and I said that I’d help him with his work to make up for stealing. We started talking some, and I would play pipes for him or tell him stories. He wasn’t the most intelligent man, but he was pretty and he was strong. It went on like this for about two weeks, even though I’d paid off the ‘debt’ by then.”

“And one day, he’d finished what he was hired on for, so we decided to go down here to have a drink and celebrate. We got pretty drunk and walked around during the evening - we actually went back down to the orchard to sit and watch the sunset together. I had been, of course, flirting with him the entire time, but he was oblivious, so I decided to start telling him how handsome he was. He was pretty into it, so I decided to kiss him.”

At this, Chronicler cringes. Bast shakes his head and smiles. “Oh, he was angry. He grabbed me by the throat and asked what in God’s name I thought I was doing, he used all the choice words. He ended up grabbing an iron shovel and chasing me with it.” At Chronicler’s surprised look, Bast waves his hand. “He didn’t _know_ , of course. It just so happened that the nearest shovel was made of iron, so I had to pretend it only hurt because he was attacking me with it. I made it away from him and he yelled at me never to speak or interact with him again, and that he’d tell everyone in the village.”

Chronicler looks at him, as if in wait. He’s not asking anything out loud, but Bast can practically hear the “and?”. “I guess it’s lucky for me that after that night, he just disappeared. Nobody knows what happened to him. There was a search party that went into the woods - I was in the group that looked through the river. None of us found anything - not a trace of him, not a scrap of clothes or piece of hair. I didn’t say anything.” Bast’s smile is like the gash of a certain knife, on a certain body. He’s breathing close to Chronicler, the soft hair jostled into floating on top of each exhale. The man has to feel it on his skin; he’s trying to move backwards but something’s holding him place.

“It really _was_ a lucky coincidence.”


End file.
